January 20^th, 2010 by The Drive Home

Mood: awake

 Ive been talking about God alot lately. Not because I have to or because I usually dont so felt I should, just because he has been all over me lately. I suppose the more you lean on God the more he shows up and is like duh what did you think!! I have a wonderful relationship that has brought alot of worth and warmth back into my life. I believe with all Ive got that God gave it to me. I have been having alot of struggles with my sisters whom I thought I was close with. God gives you what you need and maybe just maybe the effort I was putting into having a good bond with my sisters wasnt worth the hurt I felt. I look at Rohit and I think that all the effort I put into him and I and our love and our lives together it pays off. I am never let down when I show him how much I love him. He has always and I know will always return my love. I regret that I was the sister I was to my sisters. I dont believe I ever did anything so wrong to them that I didnt fix after time. They on the other hand have let my love for them go to waste. I should have been stronger and wiser when it came to them. I have been praying so much about my sisters lately and others from my past that I tried to show I loved. I might be wrong with what God is asking me to do where they are concerned. I dont think I am and I continue to seek his guidance in all the moves Ive been making. I guess its just something Im weak at. I want to continue to believe that loving them the way I do is somehow going to get them to show me that they love me back just as much. I will always love them and want to be a big part of their lives but I have a life of my own Im starting and to be honest the only two people I have to worry about keeping happy are my God and my Fiance. 

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